interview – a thousand new paths

…I know because I’m stuck here now…in limbo, I mean.

Truthfully, that’s why I haven’t stopped by to write in a little while. Everything seems to be in limbo right now, and I was trying to wait for some things to fall into place before I wrote about them. Anyhow, things seem to be moving at a turtle’s pace in most areas, and I’m still playing the waiting game. So, I decided to just go ahead and post an update of everything that is going on. After all, this blog is supposed to be reflection of all of the paths in my life, not just the ones where everything is moving just as I would like. So here we go…

China
I still have not received my official invitation to come and work in China. I cannot apply for my visa until I have that, so I’m still in limbo until we get the letter. We did however contact the program to see if I would still be eligible for the monthly stipend now that I will not be there for 5 months. Good news on that is that I WILL be eligible to receive the same monthly stipend. Praise for all of that working out. However, I’m still undecided as to whether I will be going or not. I guess it really depends on how long I will be able to go. I know that any amount of time would be a life-changing experience, but I’m really starting to wonder if now is the right time. Don’t get me wrong, I would still love to go. The situation has just changed, and I think the wisest thing to do right now is to re-evaluate all of my options to determine if there is a more suitable choice for the time being.

Graduate School
I have been hesitant to post about my graduate school application process (even though I’ve already shared some with you), mostly because I have this fear of public failure. To post about the schools I applied to and got interviews with would invariably be followed by a post about the schools that I did and did not get into. BUT! I’ve decided that I’m getting over that fear, and I’m going to be very real about this whole process.
I’ve applied to Baylor, received an invitation to interview, had a Skype interview, and now I am waiting to hear back, hopefully next week.
Appalachian State wants me to come and interview on March 22nd. Obviously I’ve been in limbo about this interview because I have been in limbo about China. If I go to China, I’m not sure what happens with the interview, but if I don’t go to China, then I will head up there for the interview and see what’s up.
I also got an email from Georgia Southern saying that I was accepted into their program. So, no matter what happens I will be going to grad school! That’s exciting!
I am excited to hear from all of these grad schools. This process has certainly been an adventure, but I am glad that it will be coming to a close soon. It feels good to be much closer to completing this process at this point. I know that actually attending graduate school is going to be another time of growth and learning more about myself, but for right now I am thankful that the growth that comes through the application process is almost done. It really has been an intense process, but I’ve gained a lot of confidence as well as humility, and I am very thankful for that.
Also, I can’t help but wonder what my professors said in their recommendation letters. Whatever it was, though, I am very thankful. I know that I wouldn’t have made it this far without their support and encouragement. It really means a lot to me.

There is one other area that also feels like it’s in limbo right now…but in a good way. I won’t say much about that, but I will leave you with these photos:

sunflower

Last Wednesday night I was watching TV with my mom upstairs and surfing the web when I decided to check my email. Suddenly I jumped up from my favorite recliner, grabbed my mother by the hand, and led her downstairs to where my dad was reading and proceeded to read:

“Dear Jessica,
The School Psychology Faculty Committee completed its review of candidates for the 2013-2014 academic year and we were very impressed with your application…We would like to complete a 30-40 minute interview via Skype in the next few weeks…”

Then my dad, not missing a beat, replied, “Well, I guess you’ll be moving to Texas then.” Perhaps he got a little ahead of the situation, but I am very excited about interviewing with BAYLOR, and I’m certainly hoping and praying for the opportunity to attend graduate school there.

This whole graduate school application process has truly been grueling, but there are two moments thus far that have been more rewarding than I anticipated. Obviously getting an email for an interview is a pretty rewarding moment. However, I also keep thinking back to the difficult time I was having with writing my personal statement. I tend to write in a stream of consciousness, often providing more details than necessary or desired, so coming up with a format that would fit my life history and future desires into a brief personal statement was a challenge in itself. Content was also difficult; I wanted to include everything because everything feels relevant to who I am as a person. However, I knew everything would not seem relevant to the professors who would review my application. I had a lot of decisions to make when writing my personal statement, but quite frankly I was over thinking the whole thing. One evening I sat down with a detailed outline and several very rough drafts, and instead of following those, I decided to write what was on my heart. I thought to myself, “What do I want to do, and why do I want to do it?” Then, I started crying.

That was the first rewarding experience that I had with this application process because for the first time in the past four years I felt like I was on the right track. I know I want to help provide children with the same educational opportunities that I have had, and I know that I want to do that through school psychology. My experience with tutoring children in Macon and visiting after-school facilities overseas only confirmed that desire in my heart over the years. Now I’m at the point where I have to take the next step to reach my goals, and that involves graduate school. So even though this application process has been more difficult than I could possibly imagine, I know that it will all be worth it if I get into a program that allows me to build on my education and enables me to provide children with educational opportunities in the future. I pray that God will continue to open doors for my education. He has been faithful, and I believe He has a plan. Whether it involves teaching in China or going to grad school for school psychology at Baylor or both, I know He is in control. For that, I am thankful.

A friend reminded me today to think about the desires of my heart in terms of Philippians 4:4-8, which says,

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Tag: interview

limbo is real…

life is a roller coaster