celebrating a year

Have you met me? Have you met my husband? Have you seen us together?

case&jess
cute, right?

What thoughts come to your mind when you start silently answering those questions while staring at your computer (phone?) screen?

Well, I hate to ruin the picture-perfect, fairytale image you have in your head (ha!), but chances are pretty good that we’ve both changed in our past year of marriage. To celebrate 365 days of marriage, I bring you a post on Case & Jess’s lessons from married life.  (Clearly after a year, we are now experts.)

  • We are now resident experts on planning a wedding while living 800+ miles away from friends and family. (It’s no cakewalk, in case you were wondering.)
  • We can attest to the fact that living  800+ miles from family is too far during your first year but 300 miles away feels just right (f0r now)!
  • If adjusting to your final roommate is not enough of  a challenge for you, we recommend getting a puppy during your third month of marriage…bonus points if he’s not even potty trained. (We actually don’t recommend this, though it does seem to be a common trend among all our married friends.  Hope it’s going better for you guys.)
  • We especially love moving, as we are awesome at organizing, packing, and moving.  <–that is sarcasm.  Thank goodness we had Case’s family to come and help us on our move from Texas to South Carolina.  We probably wouldn’t have made it, otherwise.
  • Lastly, sarcasm has its place, such as blog posts, but is not usually a good idea in conversations with your spouse.  I’ve found that sarcasm is the love language of some, but is definitely the opposite for us.

kasenjessica-52

Moving into our second year of marriage…

  • We want input from you married peoples on where and how you do your ‘arguing.’ We are very much still learning how to navigate conflict effectively, which I don’t mind sharing, as this appears to me to be one of the more common marital struggles from newlyweds to veterans.  Probably our biggest goal this past year was to cultivate a peaceful home. (Ah, young, naive love…amiright?)  Needless to say, we bit off more than we could chew, as we are still learning & growing.  So this year, my revised goal is to create a peaceful master suite.  No arguing in the master bedroom/bathroom.  We’ll letcha know how this goes.  In the meantime, what works for you?
  • We want to keep traveling.  Our mini-vacays and weekend getaways brought us closer together this past year.  (We’re doomed if we ever stop traveling.) What’s your favorite weekend getaway?
  • At the end of this year, we started praying together. Can I tell you that just one evening of prayer together is a marriage game changer?  Imagine what our second year will be like if we continue to grow spiritually in this way.
  • We miss our Waco friends tremendously but we have been slow to make new friends here in South Carolina.  That is something that I would like to work on in this next year.

Thank you to everyone who helped us make this year possible.  Marriage is impossible in a vacuum, and we couldn’t have done it without the support and love of our friends and families.  Learning how to best love my spouse has made me hyper-aware of how others have loved me over the years.  What a blessing!

kasenjessica-7

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2 thoughts on “celebrating a year

  1. One of the biggest things I learned when it comes to arguing is respecting the other persons boundaries. If they don’t want to talk about, just drop it and give them some space. Also it helps not to bottle emotions up. For example if you asked Casen to do something three or four times and it still has not happened, don’t get mad and bottle those feelings up. Stop what you are doing and calmly say, “I am getting frustrated now” and when he ask why, calmly explain yourself. The less finger pointing the better.

  2. Let’s see, the key to arguing. Or as I call it “heated discussion” lol. The secret is to listen as well as speak. But listen more. But don’t always listen to the words, as I have found what one person says he/she is angry about, isn’t always what he/she is actually angry about. Listen between what is said and find the motive between the words. And even in the heat of the argument, remember you are on the same team. It isn’t him against her. It’s you two against the world. So remember someone doesn’t always have to “win”. Also find a catch phrase or something you make up that always makes you laugh, and use it at the most inappropriate time, but I bet you will both be laughing 🙂 Marriage isn’t easy. What is easy is choosing love. We choose to love our spouses every. single. day. It’s a choice.

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